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What are the best Jewish jokes?

Last Updated: 19.06.2025 03:21

What are the best Jewish jokes?

And the priest thinks for a minute and then says:”Hmm, this is very serious my son, and there are a number of grave sins involved, so I’m not quite sure where to start. But let’s go with the basics: How long has it been since your last confession?”

And the man says : “Are you kidding me? I’m telling everyone.”

So a priests starts the confession and the man in the booth says “Father, I wanted to tell you, I’m 65 years old and last night, at the bar, I met two beautiful young 21 year old college girls. We talked a bit, drank a bit and one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place where the three of us stayed up all night drinking and having wild, uninhibited sex. “

How do you say "I don't speak French yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn French with you. Would you like to teach me French?" in French? Could you add audio?

I’m not sure if this one qualifies but I’ll tell it anyway.

So the priest says:” Well if you’re not Catholic, why are you in here telling me all this?”

the man replies: “Oh, I’ve never been to confession, I’m actually Jewish.”

Do you ever feel like you are doing good, but would do better if people hadn’t blamed you or even bothered you? I have gotten lonely, but I always am up to something (creating my destiny).